BE YOURSELF
Competition with self-past:One fine morning, my daughter along with ,मेरी प्यारी नातिन, Aadhya visited our house. Above is a snap of our cute Aadhya who is one and half year old. She was wearing a smart dress with a logo " BE YOU". This logo prompted me to scribble a few lines on the concept -- " Be Yourself ". , Apparently, it appears to be very simple and innocuous phrase. But, you would agree, that our experience in life is just contrary to it. One would not deny the fact that in social and public life, it is always tempting to compare self with others. Instead of being true to one's core identity, faking to be a different one is not uncommon. Primarily because of (i) worrying about what others might think (ii) our stand may not conform to the prevalent social norms/expectations and (iii) we may become a laughing stock, at times.
Objectivity in our views :
Expression of contrary views on any issue per se is not wrong provided these are well thought, objective and based on sound principles and reasoning. Of course, calm and assertive behaviour while putting forth our perspective on any subject is desirable. Aggressive and hostile attitude is totally unnecessary. Flexible approach is equally important and crucial to change our views/opinions and adapt fresh ideas. This would enrich and empower ourselves to face society with self confidence.
A challenging task:
However, listening to own inner voice and stop caring about what others say is a difficult choice as people may describe such person as an unusual personality and odd man out. Funny and silly are other common adjectives one has to face from parochial mind people. No doubt it may, at times, lead to sadness and embarrassment . Certainly, once we are true to ourselves and express a well thought and authentic opinion, it would lead to a fulfilling experience. Eventually, it would lead to a sense of satisfaction and contentment. A beautiful concept indeed which I personally feel is just akin to meditation. Of course, it is much easier said than done. An uncomfortable, hard and challenging task in the beginning.
SWOT analysis:
Focus on ourselves leads to build ourselves up instead of tearing down. Hence, a well-known concept of self SWOT analysis may be put into practice. Such an approach may be of immense help to improve/refine our strengths. Clarity in thoughts, belief in our strengths, stop worrying about the risk of disapproval of other people around would certainly encourage us to be of our own. At the same time, positive attitude towards genuine criticism that is founded on knowledge and given in a spirit of helpfulness is essential trait to be " of your own".
People-Pleasing behaviour:
Constant thinking about society at large ( लोग क्या कहें गें ) and striving to please others, that too at the cost of self esteem need to be eliminated to the barest minimum possible. At times, as against our firm conviction, we resort to people-pleasing behaviour simply to avoid conflict or disagreement. Instances are also not uncommon when we make efforts to subtly control perception of others about ourselves. Such behaviour contrary to our conscience may prove advantageous temporarily but the possibility of its adverse consequences in the long term cannot be ruled out. Such appeasement attitude, therefore, may boomerang.
"Be You" also puts onus on us to improve ourselves progressively over a period of time but without comparing with others. Instead self-competition is proper course to follow. In simple terms, it means to compete with self-past. Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves. Decide your own goal and time line for steady improvement. Not only it would be less stressful but certainly lead to a peaceful and rewarding exercise.
I would like to conclude the blog with the undernoted quote that I came across while finalising the article.
" Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
Oscar Wilde
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ReplyDeleteInteresting topic discussed.Worth reading.Relevant for all age groups, particularly for youngsters.
ReplyDeleteSimple yet difficult to cultivate concept.
ReplyDeletesomething that should be emphasised since childhood, particularly in todays world where everyone is striving to please everyone
Excellent writing that makes its point in a clear and concise manner.
Yes, the concept needs to be emphasized from childhood.
DeleteExcellent article sir! It's very difficult though, when sometimes one is in an environment which encourages people pleasing and is averse to free & open expression....
ReplyDeleteParul, your point of view is well taken. However, efforts may be made to learn it to the extent possible.
DeleteA rewarding read.....trust you also agree with the need of issue based leanings instead of pre conceived ideologies linked to personalities, political dispensations and religious groups .
ReplyDeleteFully endorse your views.
DeleteSir, indeed it’s worth a topic for discussion. In fact it should be taught at early stage as at later stage it becomes difficult to change one’s behaviour. You have written it in a very simple & impressive way. Thanks a lot Sir.
ReplyDeleteThnx, Satish.
DeleteExcellent article. Yes, no doubt easy to tell and difficult to follow, but not impossible. In real life, this feeling of ‘be yourself’ comes to most of us, but at a very late stage of life.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is a challenging task but not impossible. Sir, you have omitted, inadvertently, to write your name. There are two ways. One, you can choose the google option otherwise one can write one's name at the beginning or end of comments/observations. Regards.
DeleteVery interesting topic. Very well written. कथनी और करनी में फ़रक होता है। I always enjoy your blogs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for encouraging words, Parmod Ji
DeleteImpacting write up...keep it going Boss
ReplyDeleteThnx
DeleteNicely put! It is true, as Shakespeare puts it ‘ to thine own self be true- thou canst not then be false to any man’ ! In boyhood, values hv to be imbibed from parents, family custom & culture! When maturing as a youngster, as rightly put, developing reason and logic Shd be the basis for our views! In career, while being on the right side of law, and organisational values/ goals wd be priorities. Best regards
ReplyDeleteVery well put how to learn the concept of "Be Yourself" during different stages of life. Thnx and regards.
DeleteInteresting topic and worth emphasizing in today's time. Definitely, in such a competitive environment, it is difficult to be yourself and stand out. But, the earlier you realize it, the merrier your life would be!
ReplyDeleteYes, Adtiya, early one realize the importance of concept, the life will become less stressful.
DeleteThe logo is a message in itself and has been captured and elaborated in an excellent manner making it a motivation in true sense.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, logo itself is the source of inspiration for me to pen down the article. Thnx
DeleteExcellent elaboration of a life changing concept. Worth reading.
ReplyDeleteThnx, dear
DeleteI fully agree with your views. Ultimately, it's me who can change myself not anybody else, despite inspiration from others, Moreover, being yourself help you staying healthy and happy.
ReplyDeleteDear Bikram, I agree it is me and only me who has to inculcate the concept. Of course, bit difficult to follow but not impossible.
Deleteyour analyzing skill is amazing. Logo on the dress of lovely child BE YOURSELF is truth of ones on confidence in his KARMA for all success in life as preached in GITA..
ReplyDeleteThnx for motivational words.
DeleteNicely penned. These r imprtnt traits which one may strive to attain. Imprtnt is to have peace in mind nd be happy... Dont hav to run after them.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, such traits have to be imbibed from the childhood itself for that parents have to play a vital role.
DeleteBe yourself, what others say or comment is immaterial. My wife is hefty. If others quip 'कितनी मोटी है' within her audible range, she retorts without mincing 'तुम मुझे नहीं खिलाते, मेरे पति खिलाते हैं'. She never feels odd in any gagathering/marketplace, but she enjoys living with the fact.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the crux of the article is that we should be least bother about what other say. I appreciate the courage of Bhabhi ji. Keep it up.
DeleteMany blessings and much love to Aadhya for triggering this thought process and the wonderful writeup.
ReplyDeleteAs children we are true to ourselves. As we grow we learn to mimic and copy and create an imagined self which doesn't represent our inner core. Some people never grow out this unnatural self.
This lucid article is a gentle reminder to introspect. Life will be much simpler and fulfilling if we can manage to understand our true nature and be true to it as far as possible.
Thank you very for penning it down and sharing the link, Chawlaji. 🙏
No doubt the life would become simple and meaningful provided we pay heed to our inner self( Antaratma ki awaz). Of course, a hard choice, indeed.
DeleteWonderfully articulated. I was reminded of the well known कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते ....... the essence of which is interpreted by some as success is not to be measured in terms of observable results but by the deep satisfaction that comes out of one's most sincere efforts. Because success as is ordinarily defined is often decided by many external factors including luck. But contentment is entirely your own internal light to guide you.
ReplyDeleteMy sincere compliments and deep regards to you.
You have quoted a very relevant Shloka No. 47 , Adhayay 2 of Gita. Incidentally, both me and my wife are attending on line classes to learn pure and correct pronunciation of Srimad-BhagwatGita.
DeleteIt is very interesting. On one topic different people react differently and so many views can be read. Be yourself looks simple but actually it is very tough. Thanks Chawla is for giving a chance to react on your Blog
ReplyDeleteWell said, Rajiv. I have written about 14-15 blogs on different topics. If you have time, you may also go through these articles.
DeleteNice way to productively enjoy time and simultaneously help others to introspect. All the best.
ReplyDeleteThnx, a lot, NC
ReplyDeleteWell written thought provoking article. Though being true to oneself sounds simple in real life situations it is difficult to practice. However, one should strive to attain that trait
ReplyDeleteFully endorse your views.
DeleteAuthor here has raised an important topic which needs to be debated and discussed in a progressive society quite often. However, as a scientist (as well), looking at this topic through the social lens, I see the difficulties people face. Primary reason being, individuals don't want be a 'misfit' or want to be a part of a tribe which is an innate nature of human beings since centuries. Also, based on my limited experience I have, I can safely say it depends a lot on the society as to how accepting and inclusive it is. It is not just the individuals that need to change and be themselves but also, the society at large has to be accepting of the quirks of the individuals. Which means. we need to accept when people around us want to 'be themselves' . Well, just presenting a few points here that can help us to keep the discussion alive.
ReplyDeleteYour observation that society has also to be accommodative and respect individual's opinion/ point of view has given a new dimension to the article. The view point would certainly make the discussion more lively. The discussion will also lead the topic to higher pedestal
ReplyDelete